Some friendships, relationships, evolve into a love that seems never ending in their power. The love gets better and stronger as time passes and one day you wonder what life was like before you met this person, because you don’t even remember. The laughs, the trust is there, final and unbreakable. I am blessed with more than a handful of those.
I have learned over time that some friendships don’t last. Some of mine have broken simply because of moving apart, as life can sometimes make happen. They pop back in sometimes for a short period for different reasons, hold wonderful feelings of joy and hold no feelings of loss or regret, more like ‘on hold’.
There are other circumstances, however, that they bend, fray and finally sever because of specific events. Arguments, sometimes the same ones for many years, can annihilate something that once seemed sturdy.
This year, I found myself in one of those situations. I tried to hold on, I tried to make excuses for keeping someone in my life that so clearly did not share the values and ethics that are so important to me. In holding on, I kept my mouth shut and watched this person lie and manipulate others, covering their tracks by lying some more. I listened when they went on and on about honesty, and the few times I piped up, I was told that the lies were fibs, and for the sheer reason of not hurting others.
I then spent a significant amount of time avoiding the situation, for the sheer purpose of being unable to look all parties in the eye with a straight face one out of annoyance, and one out of sheer shame.
I finally, after months, called bullshit and became honest. I was truthful when asked some pointed questions. I looked inside myself and knew that this choice was made for the right reasons and came from a place of love. The fallout was swift. The most enlightening part of this was when I was called out as the actual problem, the truth I told swept away with excuses, my ‘betrayal’ became the problem.
I haven’t spoken to this person since. I have felt the need to protect myself. Because if as my friend, one shows me time and again that the (supposedly) most important person in their life cannot trust them, WHY THE HELL WOULD I?
my friend this person sometimes. I look back at the years and times when we really had a great time together and feel extremely sad. I wish that this person could come to sense and have an awakening and make the choice to be real. Unfortunately, I don’t see that happening anytime soon.
- When You’re Surrounded By People, But You’re More Alone Than Ever (thoughtcatalog.com)
- Friends (betrayedandangry.wordpress.com)
- Some Reasons Why The People Who Love Us Hurt Us The Most (thoughtcatalog.com)
- Everything Has It’s Season (dragonmommie.wordpress.com)